History not made

Ted Stevens' brave battle to become the first convicted felon ever elected to the U.S. Senate is over.

Ted Stevens convicted

Cosmic justice is served. Al-Caponian though it may be.

The banality of graft

The formidable Dirty Dozen regular Sen. Ted Stevens, (R-AK, seen below in his characteristic Incredible Hulk tie) has been indicted on 7 counts of lying about gifts he received from an oil company. (WP, also see Google News results)

Stevens, it is pretty convincingly alleged, took $250K worth of goods and services from Veco Oil in exchange for help with the company's legal troubles in Alaska. The offense was failing to report these gifts.

Offensive enough. But to me, the worst offense of all is what these gifts consisted of. Did Stevens send his nogoodnik son to school with these funds? Pay off his mortgage or something? Tithe to the church? Pay off debts owed to a dangerous mobster in order to save his life?

Nope. He remodeled his bathroom and installed some high quality kitchen appliances.

Your one-stop source for obstruction of justice

When the corrupt head of a federal agency wants to remove computer evidence of his misdeeds, who does he call?


Yeah, that's right. The criminal masterminds in the blue collared shirts. Are these the ones that drive special little PT Cruisers, or is that the Geek Squad? I can't remember.

Anyway, the agency in question here is the U.S. Office of Special Counsel, which is supposed to protect federal government employee whistleblowers from reprisal and enforce certain restrictions on political activity by government employees.

Current OSC head Scott Bloch, however, has apparently been running the place in true Bush-appointee style, inappropriately allowing politics to interfere with the agency's mission. After years of government investigation, that's earned his shop a big FBI raid and numerous grand-jury subpoenas (WP).

I think we've all heard this story before in various forms, but I was just a little tickled to learn that Bloch called in the Geeks to scrub some of his hard drives during a previous investigation. You'd think there'd be a record of that job somewhere, wouldn't you? Genius.

Wait, there's more: Spitzer hooker also a "Girl Gone Wild"

(LA Times) Sheesh. I hope this kid at least gets a decent centerfold deal or record contract out of all of this. Maybe she will go the way of Monica Lewinsky and design handbags.

I like the way this LA Times article describes "Girls Gone Wild" CEO Joe Francis--convicted child abuser and total skeev--as "irrepressible." That wacky guy!

The war on abstinence and traditional morality hits a fever pitch--NOT

It's "war on Christmas" time again, folks. And, in that spirit, an off-his-rocker social conservative has once again manufactured "liberal hostility" to his belief system. A hostility that simply doesn't exist.

It turns out that a Princeton student and Anscombe Society member, Francisco Nava, sent anonymous "threats" to himself and fellow members of the pro-abstinence society. Nava then faked being beaten for his outspoken moral conservatism by two masked men. (Daily Prince, NYT)

Clearly, this poor dude is unbalanced. But it is significant how his mental issues manifested themselves. Nava's hoax reimagined the subtle, systemic, and indifferent forces of gradual social change as brazen, focused forces that mean harm.

It really reminds me of the fundamental group psychosis of the "war on Christmas" people: because many people don't want religious values and ceremonies imposed by the government or other public institutions, they imagine that those same people are out to get Christmas. Because society couldn't become more secular (pluralistic, in my view) all on its lonesome, could it?

As Princeton's current student president told the New York Times,

"I don't think Princeton is the kind of place where students would be threatened or physically harmed for what they believe...Something about it didn't seem quite right because I couldn't see a Princeton student being so vehemently opposed to something their classmate said as to be compelled to physical violence."

By the way, here's what FOX news wrote before the hoax was revealed as such:

Little Outrage Over Student Beating at Princeton University
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
By Brit Hume

Conservative students and faculty at Princeton University are questioning the absence of campus and community outrage -- following the beating of a student leading a morality movement at the school. The New York Sun reports Francisco Nava was attacked by two men last week and told to shut up. The beating came two days after Nava received death threats by e-mail.

Does Christmas come in August now?

It has been quite a month. At least three times so far this August, Santa* has delivered to our door an extra-special morning newspaper.

Rove to Leave White House Post

Embattled Gonzales Resigns

G.O.P. Senator [Larry Craig] Pleaded Guilty After Restroom Arrest [for "lewd conduct"]**

All while most Washingtonians are off dreaming of sugarplums.

*Or, to be more accurate, Ben

**Does anyone else think it's kind of crazy that this took so long to break? This happened in June?

Sen. Vitter on "DC Madam's" call list

It's always that guy, isn't it? (WP)

• FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: Vitter Statement on Protecting the Sanctity of Marriage. "This is a real outrage. The Hollywood left is redefining the most basic institution in human history, and our two U.S. Senators won't do anything about it. We need a U.S. Senator who will stand up for Louisiana values, not Massachusetts's values. I am the only Senate Candidate to coauthor the Federal Marriage Amendment; the only one fighting for its passage. I am the only candidate proposing changes to the senate rules to stop liberal obstructionists from preventing an up or down vote on issues like this, judges, energy, and on and on." stated David Vitter. [Vitter '04 campaign website]

• "June 25, 2007 (Washington, D.C.)-- U.S. Sen. David Vitter last week authored a letter to the chairman and ranking member of the U.S. Senate Finance Committee expressing support for reauthorization of the Title V Abstinence Education Program of the Social Security Act. Twelve senators joined Vitter in writing in support of the program." [Vitter homepage]

• Christian Coalition 2004 Congressional Scorecard: David Vitter, 100% [Christian Coalition]

• "The 2004 election means a smashing victory for conservative leadership in the Senate...Rep. David Vitter ran a smashing campaign to become the first Republican in Louisiana to win a Senate seat since the Civil War. Rep. Vitter is a proven pro-family fighter who has taken on the abortion and gambling industries." [Concerned Women for America]
  

Your daily WTF? courtesy of the White House

After only one night in jail, Scooter Libby suffered severe emotional distress including claustrophobia, Adderall withdrawal, and the tragic lack of lip gloss. He got sprung on house arrest and spent the following day ordering gourmet cupcakes and playing with his pet chihuahua at his Bel Air estate. ("Bush Commutes Libby's Prison Sentence", WP)

Come on, it's not that far from the truth.

A tip for Monica Goodling

How embarrassing.

"The forecast for today's House Judiciary Committee is tears, with a chance of some sobbing.

Monica Goodling, the former Bush administration official who has been granted immunity in exchange for her testimony on the U.S. attorney scandal, is slated to give her side of the story and some on the Hill expect a show.

Sources say that that Monica has been emotional about the issue and she also has a history with crying. " (The Hill)

First you get busted for your role in a major government scandal. Then you end up having to snitch on your former boss and coworkers, in a way that makes it pretty clear to everyone that you are covering your own ass rather than doing the right thing for its own sake. And worst of all, everyone is just waiting for you to start crying.

You know, I hear they can temporarily shut down your tear ducts with Botox now. Just a tip. Did you know that Hollywood stars also get their armpits Botoxed--to prevent any sweating--for red carpet events?

The Floyd Landis freak show

Been following the Floyd Landis testosterone doping arbitration hearing? Boy, have you been missing some weird shit.

Let me bring you up to speed.

1) July, 2006: Floyd Landis overcomes a devastating hip injury to win the Tour de France. Days later, one of his blood tests comes up positive for testosterone doping, throwing his victory into question. Landis offers various lame excuses, and a few potentially accurate conspiracy theories involving the French and tainted blood samples.

2) May, 2007: Arbitration hearing begins in Malibu to decide whether to uphold the positive results of the blood test and strip Landis of his 2006 Tour de France medal. Here's where it gets weird.

• American cyclist and three-time Tour winner Greg LeMond alleges blackmail. LeMond had been called by the U.S. Anti-Doping Agency to testify against Landis. He tells the panel that Landis's manager, Will Geoghegan, warned him not to show up, lest Geoghegan reveal that LeMond had been sexually molested as a child.
• Landis immediately fires Geoghegan, who himself almost immediately...you guessed it... checks into rehab "in an effort to address his problems." (AP via NYT)
  

And thus we have yet another awesome demonstration of the rehab maneuver, now firmly entrenched in the playbooks of PR flacks from every possible realm, it would seem. The childhood sexual abuse thing was sort of a red herring, but also pretty strange. I can't wait to see what happens next.

Palfrey names unsaid

DC escort business caters to power elite, madam releases phone records, blah blah blah. Yawn. Unless you've got some kind of technical account of the erotic use of a cigar by a head of state, or homemade heiress night vision porn, I am so over your sex scandal muckraking...

But anyhow, I'm a little torn about ABC News's cherry-picking of which of Palfrey's clientele to expose publicly. (WP) "Brian Ross of ABC confirmed that some fairly important people had used her escort service." Yet ABC has acknowledged the identity of only two (to this blogger's knowledge): Deputy Secretary of State Randall Tobias, and Harlan Ullman, of the Washington Times and the Center for Strategic and International Studies. The rest, producers considered too "anonymous" to publicize.

Well, okay; Palfrey is arguing that the services her firm provided were all legal. If that turns out to be true, it does seem unethical to expose all of these people, possibly ruin their lives, over whatever legal activities in which they may be engaged in their spare time. And there may be no compelling public interest in revealing that the non-public-figure down the street is in Palfrey's black book, no matter what service he or she has received.

But who gets to make that judgement call? Why do any of the public officials implicated deserve a pass? And how do we know that ABC excluded them all based on their lack of importance or name recognition rather than some other, more political factor? (They include "A federal prosecutor, who recently died. A handful of military officers, including the head of an Air Force intelligence squadron. A senior official at the World Bank and other officials at NASA and the International Monetary Fund. Corporate CEOs. And lobbyists, both Democratic and Republican.")

Industry lobbyist sweat

Phil Cooney, American Petroleum Institute lobbyist-cum-Bush CEQ appointee-cum-Exxon lobbyist, got grilled this morning by the House Oversight Committee. Mr. Cooney, of course, is the guy who edited and deleted global warming references in scientific government documents to downplay scientists' findings on the reality and likely consequences of global warming. You can see a few examples here in the Sierra Club magazine. During the hearing, Cooney was asked to read aloud some of the passages he had altered, compared to the final version.

The pursuit of truth and good public policy is what it's all about, but I gotta say, half the fun is the squirming.

What happens in Vegas

I am having a hard time believing this Jim Gibbons 911-call scandal just because it sounds like something I would make up if someone asked me to make up a story about a pre-election scandal. The fact that the legislator in question is a social conservative*, that it involves a cocktail waitress named Chrissy, that the evening began at a McCormick and Schmick's in Las Vegas. Truth will out, I suppose.

*Christian Coalition 90% score

[insert post about GOP imploding here]

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Here is a place where I could write about how Condi Rice does not take the best notes during meetings (SF Chron). Or about how some congressional Democrats and Republicans seem to be engaged in a breathless struggle to out-scandal each other ("We'll see your bribery and raise you one pedophile!"). Or about the potential for hard-right Republicans to get ousted by the conservative Christian vote that they have so carefully cultivated (WP). But I think the time has come to just sit back and watch Fate spin this one out as she desires.

PS: When did substance abuse stop being reason enough to question a lawmaker's fitness to serve and start being just an excuse for other, worse stuff?

For the record: this blogger has never used the N-word

This is getting ridiculous. So now James Webb is getting out front of George Allen by also denying that he has ever used the racial epithet beginning with N. (WP) So basically, the entire disussion of race and prejudice, which is an important one in Virginia, is getting boiled down to this parsing of words and questioning of childhood acquaintances.

Open for business.

There's a lot of talk about the influence of special interest money over political decisions in Washington. But it's not really such a black-and-white quid pro quo. It's not like lobbyists give lawmakers PAC contributions and take them out to fancy dinners and actually get specific legislative favors in return.

Except for when they do.

Rep. Ney Admits Selling Influence (WP)

Comment from a friend: "How much more could you possibly degrade the halls of Congress. I mean, sure, you could get caught having sex with a donkey in a committee room, and that would be unseemly. But it wouldn't violate the public trust like this."

The ultimate tempest in the ultimate teapot!!!

Hold onto your hats, folks!!!!

Lee Siegel, author, New Republic blogger, and coiner of the term "blogofascism" just got suspended from TNR. His crime? Posting outrageous, Siegel-aggrandizing comments on his own posts under the handle "sprezzatura."

Eh? What's that gentle buzzing I hear? That low-volume grumbling? Oh, it's just the left hand side of the blogosphere, which is going characteristically apeshit today over the Siegel suspension. (Google search: "lee siegel" sprezzatura)

Hmm, the whole story does raise some vaguely relevant questions about the unwritten rules and ethical constraints of blog punditry. And sprezzatura's posts are really over the top and fun to read in a cringe-inducing way. Quick, post some comments on ThinkProgress, then create a satirical mini-blog dedicated to the scandal! Get on it!

Say it ain't so!

Re: America...F**ck yeah!

"Floyd Landis is the coolest injured-yet-victorious athlete America has seen in recent years."...pending his vindication of doping charges.