And you thought McGruff the Crime Dog was tough

WP: Marijuana Garden Found With Help of Researcher's Turtle


Yup. Some Chevy Chase kid was cultivating weed in Rock Creek Park. But he wasn't counting on a narc turtle running across his operation. It's like they say in College Park. Fear the turtle.

Only in DC...

The banality of graft

The formidable Dirty Dozen regular Sen. Ted Stevens, (R-AK, seen below in his characteristic Incredible Hulk tie) has been indicted on 7 counts of lying about gifts he received from an oil company. (WP, also see Google News results)

Stevens, it is pretty convincingly alleged, took $250K worth of goods and services from Veco Oil in exchange for help with the company's legal troubles in Alaska. The offense was failing to report these gifts.

Offensive enough. But to me, the worst offense of all is what these gifts consisted of. Did Stevens send his nogoodnik son to school with these funds? Pay off his mortgage or something? Tithe to the church? Pay off debts owed to a dangerous mobster in order to save his life?

Nope. He remodeled his bathroom and installed some high quality kitchen appliances.

Is Elaine Donnelly for real?

She's the president of a group that opposes gays in the military, and blessed us all with her own bizarre fantasies at a recent House Armed Services Committee hearing about Don't Ask Don't Tell. As Steve Benen at The Carpetbagger Report put it: "The way to win the DADT debate --hand the other side a microphone."

Highlights, as reported by Dana Milbank:

She warned of "transgenders in the military." She warned that lesbians would take pictures of people in the shower. She spoke ominously of gays spreading "HIV positivity" through the ranks.

"We're talking about real consequences for real people," Donnelly proclaimed. Her written statement added warnings about "inappropriate passive/aggressive actions common in the homosexual community," the prospects of "forcible sodomy" and "exotic forms of sexual expression," and the case of "a group of black lesbians who decided to gang-assault" a fellow soldier.

There's a screenplay in here somewhere. But don't worry, Elaine--there's still plenty of old-fashioned, red-blooded heterosexual harassment and assault going on in the military!

Toenails: A death is just a new beginning

Thanks to runner/blogger Scott Dunlap for informing us of Jan Ryerse's "Ceremonial Toenail Necklace" project. Now I sort of wish I had kept all of those little fallen soldiers. :P

Doping: Ur doin it wrong

HARSH BUZZ KILL Speaking of drugs, 19-year-old Czech archer Milan Andreas has tested positive for marijuana use, the CTK news agency reports, and may be dropped from that country's Olympic team. The decision will be made on Wednesday. [NYT Rings blog]

I did not realize until just now that marijuana was an IOC banned substance. Probably because I couldn't name the sport in which it would present, you know, a competitive advantage.

Though I guess if you had to pick one, snowboarding might be it.

Slammage

Regular readers (hi, Dad!) may have noticed the silence recently. Enjoy it--as Depeche Mode would say. I'll be back as soon as work, ultra training, and my advanced graduate course in cat herding allow.

Because everything's better with jalepenos

Officials Add Jalapenos To Salmonella Warning (WP)

You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

The things you learn on the Colbert Report. I would never have known, until watching last night's "The Word," that John McCain keeps using the word "transcendental" in a really weird way. To wit:

"I believe we are facing the transcendental challenge of the century of radical Islamic terrorism." (johnmccain.com)

I am pretty sure McCain is not proposing yogic flying or a devotion to the work of Ralph Waldo Emerson as key elements of the radical Islamic terrorist challenge. He, or someone on his staff, is dealing a few tarot cards short of a full deck, because what McCain really means is something more like "surpassing" or "overarching." Or maybe "existential?"