We must build an army of cheerleader lobbyists and campaigners

NYT: "Drug companies seeking attractive sales representatives have opened a recruiting pipeline to top college cheerleading squads...Known for their athleticism, postage-stamp skirts and persuasive enthusiasm, cheerleaders have many qualities the drug industry looks for in its sales force."

I think that beltway enviro groups could take a page from this book. I could not name a single national environmental group whose staff are similarly known for their "athleticism, postage-stamp skirts and persuasive enthusiasm." Except for maybe Greenpeace....though not the part about the skirts, which is really for the best. There are some things you just don't want to see during a banner hang.

Wait--there are conservatives at Princeton?!?!?!

The New York Times digs up Sam Alito's connection to the conservative/reactionary Concerned Alumni of Princeton, the group that was founded in 1972 to protest the admission of women as undergraduates and which later accused the University of lowering its admission standards as the proportion of minority students rose in the 1980s. (NYT)

I hate to tell you this if you are one of the people who like bash on academia--and especially the Ivies--for being a bastion of rampant elitist liberalism, but--the whole place is run by extremely wealthy white people.*

So while it is still concerning that President Bush's most recent nominee to the Supreme Court is connected to such an organization, and that such an organization once existed at Old Nassau, it is not really surprising.

*Rampant elitism, separate from any particular ideological bent, is really the issue.

Nice [software] package

The spammers have discovered my work e-mail address! I am receiving many e-mails about hot sexy Microsoft software deals. For a minute I was deathly afraid that the penis enlargement spammers had discovered my work address, because I got a piece of spam this morning entitled

"Your partner will worship you for it"

but this, too, was for software. Odd. I would think that the type of person who might take that subject line seriously would be terribly disappointed to open it and read all about Microsoft Office Professional Edition 2003 for $69.95. Although that is a pretty good price, even for Hong Kong pirate software.

Issue advocacy thought of the day, #2

The perfect is the enemy of the good.

(I stole this one--it is from Voltaire's Philosophical Dictionary.)

See also: Issue advocacy thought of the day, #1

Vegan anarchist wrongfully arrested for ecoterrorism on basis of "being a hippy"

The Feds detained this poor man* for four days as part of an investigation into a string of arsons at Hummer dealerships. What tipped them off? Well, he's a Food Not Bombs activist, and you know what those people are like. Also, belongs to vegan commune in Pomona (check). An associate of his "[had] posted statements on websites opposing the use of fossil fuels" (check).

"After concluding Connole looked like a lanky, goateed suspect caught on surveillance tape, agents arrested him at gunpoint on Sept. 12, 2003, then raided the commune." (Newsweek)

Lanky, goateed--a description that couldn't possibly apply to more than 50% of the male population of Pomona, California.

*Who was ultimately exonerated, of course.

I (heart) jumping the shark

I hereby declare a moratorium, at least on the pages of this blog, on the use of the word or symbol (heart) as a synonym for "love."

It is kind of cute on the little I (heart) NY T-shirt I bought in early 2002.

It was sort of cool and PoMo as part of the title of the film I (Heart) Huckabees, a movie which deserves praise if only for its simultaneous inclusion of Jude Law (hot), Jason Schwartzman (geek hot), and Dustin Hoffman (formerly hot--correction, formerly geek hot).

And I also really like the "I (heart) Mountains" bumper sticker stuck on my car in support of the West Virginia Highlands Conservancy.

But when ABC's The Note starts using (heart), I stop. And that time has come.

How to manage female staff

A few tips can be found in this 1943 article. I think my favorite is,

Give every girl an adequate number of rest periods during the day. Companies that are already using large numbers of women stress the fact that you have to make some allowances for feminine psychology. A girl has more confidence and consequently is more efficient if she can keep her hair tidied, apply fresh lipstick and wash her hands several times a day.

True, true, all true, gentlemen. Sometimes, when my lipstick is less than fresh or my coiffure has fallen out of place, I find my mind wandering...usually, I think of unicorns. And the color pink.

But truly--some wonder why all the fuss when anyone makes any kind of statement to the effect that there is some sort of fundamental cognitive difference between men and women. What you have to realize is that you are dealing with a group of people of whom it was believed, until quite recently, that their uteruses periodically detatched and traveled about the body, causing nervous fits. And they called us illogical. Just remember,

Retain a physician to give each woman you hire a special physical examination — one covering female conditions. This step not only protects the property against the possibilities of lawsuit but also reveals whether the employee-to-be has any female weaknesses which would make her mentally or physically unfit for the job. Transit companies that follow this practice report a surprising number of women turned down for nervous disorders.

1943, folks, 1943. It's enough to make me reach for the smelling salts.

Bad oil companies! Bad!...or not

"The nation's top oilmen. . .have been summoned by the Republican leadership of the Senate to appear today before two congressional panels and explain why prices climbed as high as they did and what they intend to do with their companies' soaring profits." (WP)

Hmmm...what to do with their companies' soaring profits...

"On Thursday the Senate voted 51 to 48 to allow drilling in the [Arctic National Wildlife Refuge] as part of a massive budget package; this week the House is expected to take up its version, probably with identical wording. The House vote remains too close to call, but proponents say they are within reach of victory." (also WP)

Glimpses into Sam Alito's soul

Which anecdote from Sam Alito's life best illustrates that he's "a quiet homebody with simple tastes"? If you are the New York Times, it's:

When his neighbors Alex Panzano and his wife, Susan, invited Sam and Martha Alito over for dinner recently, Judge Alito complimented Mr. Panzano on the wine; it turned out to be a $7 bottle from Chile. (NYT)

"How charmingly gauche! [chewing cigar] I say, this Alito chap sounds like a real card."

Butterstick is mobile

The panda cub is now walking! Video here!

Satirical allegory reigns on the NYT op-ed page

Yesterday I wrote about David Brooks' childish column on Harry Reid and the closed door session ("I know you are but what am I"). Today Paul Krugman one-ups Mr. Brooks with resort to everyone's favorite fairy tale allegory of the Bush administration, "The Emperor's New Clothes." Like the Brooks column it's a bit over the top. You can get it with your Times subscription here.

Pretty soon we will all be talking about politics like the characters in that one episode of Star Trek--you know, on the planet where the language is entirely allegorical. You don't remember? I'm a dork. Sorry.

A little something I picked up on the way to work

This is trouble. And is available at the Dupont Circle GNC.


www.joltgum.com

Some thoughts on my magnolia tree

I love my magnolia tree. It is a huge, old tree, with a gnarly, twisted trunk, completely out of proportion to the Northwest DC backyard that it adorns; its shiny evergreen leaves are mere feet from my bedroom window. It was once home to an oriole who, for a brief couple of weeks, woke me with his song each morning. Then to a flock of rowdy sparrows that ate all my birdseed and fought with each other. (Note to self: orioles provide much greater pleasure:birdseed ratio than sparrows. It's nothing personal, sparrows.) My magnolia produces huge, ostentatious, beautiful white blossoms in the summer, but it also produces a huge, ostentatious, musky odor most of the time, necessitating scary chemical air fresheners in my room. I thought about writing a poem to my magnolia. Maybe a haiku. I'm not very good at poetry.

My magnolia tree
Once home to an oriole
You now stink up my room

Then I started doing some research online about magnolias, and decided that found poems do more justice to its majesty.

Magnolias are
small to medium-sized trees
noted
for their large, showy blossoms
in early spring. --Rosie Lerner, Purdue University

Or maybe

Please don't write to me
and describe a problem with your magnolia trees,
like leaves turning brown and dropping off,
or how to move a magnolia tree,
or brown spots,
or brown trunks
or what type of magnolia will grow in your area.
I probably won't know.--"The Essence of Magnolias"

I know you are but what am I

Why so nasty, Mr. Brooks? ("The Harry da Reid Code", NYT today.) There's really no call to launch such sophomoric, ad hominem attacks on your political adversaries. You know that's Maureen Dowd's job.

[For those not foolish or desperate enough to have paid the Times for access to the online op-ed page, here's an excerpt:

Harry Reid sits alone at his kitchen table at 4 a.m., writing important notes in crayon on the outside of envelopes. It has been four weeks since he began investigating this conspiracy and three weeks since he sealed his windows with aluminum foil to ward off the Illuminati. Odd patterns now leap into his brain. Scooter Libby was born near a book depository but was indicted while at a theater. Karl Rove reads books from book depositories but rarely has time for the theater. What is the ratio of Bush tax cuts to the number of squares on a frozen waffle? It is none other than the Divine Proportion. This proves that Leonardo da Vinci manipulated intelligence on Iraq and that the Holy Grail is a woman!

The thrust of Brooks' argument is that allegations of a GOP conspiracy to muddle the facts on WMD in Iraq are ridiculous, since even Clinton administration officials had gone on the record with such concerns. Perhaps his argument is valid, but the method in which he presents it is a turnoff and cheapens the debate. This is the type of column you file at 3 am under the influence of too much cognac and self-righteousness.]

Word of the day

Ms. J. B. forwards this definition, which, as she suggests, really does say a lot about the difficulties women face in this world.

Word of the Day for Wednesday October 26, 2005

virago \vuh-RAH-go; vuh-RAY-go\, noun:
1. A woman of extraordinary stature, strength, and courage.
2. A woman regarded as loud, scolding, ill-tempered,
quarrelsome, or overbearing.

Abstinence makes the heart grow fonder

What is it with conservative politicos and trashy historical fiction?

First we had Lynne Cheney's western.

Now it turns out that Scooter Libby is the author of a 1996 "romantic thriller" set in turn-of-the-century Japan. (Amazon). To be fair, Amazon readers give it some good reviews and the book would appear to have some literary merit. But. But. If you are very brave, you may read a sampling of Mr. Libby's attempts at erotica here, courtesy of the New Yorker's Lauren Collins. Warning: bestiality.